Journal entry #2 : A Tale Of Two Books

My love affair with books began at an early age. I don’t quite remember exactly when I was first introduced to books, but it must have been around age 1 or 2. Of course I couldn’t read on my own yet. My parents used to read for me. My first books were about Disney characters, Aladdin, Sleeeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White. They filled my mind with images of princesses, castles, magical creatures. I would go to my mum and make her read it. After she finished it, I would go up to my dad and make him read it. Then I would go to my mum again. I kept going back and forth between them. It used to drive them nuts. I guess anyone who had to read Cinderella for hundreds of times a day would go crazy too. It must have been quite a relief for them when I finally learn to read on my own.

My early years were filled with books from Enid Blyton. I didn’t have much choice in the matter actually because I lived in quite a small town and there are no major book retailers available. There are some small bookstores in my hometown but it mostly caters to revision books. The few storybooks that they do carry are those from Enid Blyton.

During this time, since I have no means of getting books on my own, I had to rely on my mum to satisfy my thirst for reading. She was an avid reader herself and has a collection of books from authors like Azizi Hj. Abdullah, A. Samad Said, Shahnon Ahmad and mostly from her favourite author Khadijah Hashim. One of the most important books for me comes from her collection. It is “Konserto Terakhir” by Abdullah Hussain. I first read it in primary school, probably around the age of 10, and immediately fell in love with it. It opens up a new world for me, a rich world of Malay Literature. The novel also marks my transition from reading children and teenage novels to reading more “mature” books. The novel is full of social comments, but naturally when you were 10 you have no idea about the underlying meaning of the novel. All I know is that the book is so beautifully written that I had a hard time putting it down. Over the years, I would go back to it again and again. Sadly, the book went missing several years ago so I had not the chance to relive the experience again. Soon after finishing the book,I immediately started to devour my mother’s collection and read books like Seorang Tua di Kaki Gunung and Saga. If I had not started with Konserto Terakhir, I would have probably never thought of reading the other books.

When I was in secondary school, I hate going to assemblies. So I used to hide out in the library, a damp dark place that noone hardly ever goes to. This is the setting of my encounter with the 2^nd book that is important to me. While browsing through the dusty shelves for something to read, I stumbled across a nondescript looking book titled “The Daughter of Time” by Josephine Tey. For lack of anything else to do in that tomb of a place,I started reading it. The story of a modern day detective trying to solve a mystery from hundreds of years ago is very intriguing. The book is important because it helped shape my interest for the historical fiction genre as well as fuelled my fascination with medieval England. Most of all, the book introduces me to one of the greatly misunderstood character in history, Richard III, a king of England who later became one of the most hated man in all of England. He has such an impact on the literary world that even Shakespeare wrote a play about him. He was the ultimate medieval villain. Shakespeare portrayed Richard as a grotesque monster and killer, and that is how the world in general views him. However in Daughter of Time, these misconceptions are challenged through historical evidences. Shakespeare served Queen Elizabeth whose grandfather took over the throne from Richard III. Of course he would paint the usurper in a favourable light. Historical truth has no chance when competing with the coveted favour of the queen. This book helped me realise that you can’t believe everything you read and that some author have no qualms about twisting facts to serve their needs.

Those are the two books that are very important to me, in regards to my reading habit. Konserto Terakhir helped me appreciate Malay Literature while The Daughter of Time teaches me that there are different sides of the so called history of the world. Some people may view certain events differently, so it's always good to keep your mind open, listen to all opinions and views and make the an informed, independent choice of your own.

High Fidelity

On 17 July, Mr Jaferi introduces us to a gem of a movie titled "High Fidelity". The movie stars John Cusack, Iben Hjejle, Jack Black and Catherine Zeta Jones among others. After watching the movie several questions were posted to us and below is my response to each of them :

1 . What is the movie about?

The movie is about Rob Gordon (John Cusack) a record store owner and how he deals with the problems of his love life. His girlfriend Laura had just broken up with him and this prompts him to examine his past relationships and his relationships never seem to work out. He wonders why his girlfriends left him and what had happened to them since then. He compiles a list of top 5 most memorable breakups and resolves to find these women.

Much to his surprise, after meeting these women, he began to question why he could’ve fallen in love with them in the first place. He finds that his ex girlfriends have changed after all these years. At first, he did not include Laura in the list. However, after an intense,explicit dream about Laura and a former neighbour, Ian, Laura’s name was added to the list. He then tries to get Laura back but his efforts were futile.

The critical turning point for the movie is when Laura’s father passed away. Laura’s mother never told her father about the breakup because he liked Rob. So Rob ended up getting invited to the funeral. After the service, Rob and Laura had a little fling in her car and decided she needed Rob in her life to help her cope with her grief and that it is not worth the effort for them not to date.

Rob on the other hand starts to mature and began to realize that his past relationships hadn’t worked because his attraction to them was superficial. They were his fantasies and as such he was blinded to their imperfections and negative side. His relationship with Laura is free of bias and prejudice, making their love and relationship real. He decided that his happiness with Laura far outweighs the sadness and conflicts. This realization prompts him to propose to Laura, signifying his maturity.

The movie also includes the story of Rob’s friends and employees, the unbearably obnoxious Barry and the much quieter Dick. Through most of the movie, they were often engaged in conversations about artists and music. The three of them were also shown as being judgemental to people based on their musical preferences.

2. How is it different from common fiction?

This movie is different from common fiction due to a number of reasons. First of all, the two lead characters, Rob and Laura, are not the typical run-of-the-mill type of characters. They are both flawed. They argue constantly and both had cheated on each other during their relationship. Laura was also depicted as rash when she aborted her baby when she and Rob were going through some tough times. This is not how a couple in a relationship would have behaved. Instead of being loving and romantic, their relationship was plagued with conflicts and insecurities. This in fact makes them believable because the audiences are able to relate to their problems and conflicts because it mimics the audiences’ own problems.

Another reason why the movie is different from common fiction is that it breaks the myth that a successful relationship runs smoothly and is free of problems. People in a perfect relationship generally agree with each other and live happily ever after. This film teaches us that everything need not be seen through rose coloured glass when you are in love. Every relationship will have its’ share of ups and downs. What is important is whether the relationship is worth fighting for.

The movie is also unique because it starts with a conflict. The first scene shows Laura breaking up with Rob and leaving the house. Most romantic movies or movies that deal with a love theme would have started with the main characters meeting each other and starting to fall in love. Instead, the couple in the movie broke up before the audience get the chance to know them, creating a sense of mystery as to the reason behind the conflict.

One more reason is that, for a romantic film, the male character is hardly lovable. He does not have Brad Pitt’s intense good looks or Johnny Depp’s quirkiness. Most women watching the movie would have rooted for Laura because it is easier to sympathise with her than Rob. He is too immature, selfish and a commitment phobe, qualities that does not endear him to the audience. His redeeming qualities only come near the end of the movie when he did some growing up, realised his mistake and admits to it.

3. Who is your favourite character? Why?

Rob Gordon is my favourite character. Although he may not be perfect and does not adhere to the stereotypical portrayal of a leading man, his imperfections are what makes him believable and human. He has issues with confidence, which is especially evident during his relationship with Charlie. He is in awe with Charlie’s intelligence and always feels he’s not good enough for her. He also struggles with low self esteem because he keeps questioning his sexual abilities and constantly seeks the approval of those he deemed to be better than him like Charlie. However, imperfect as he is, Rob struck a chord with the audience because he represent the real situations faced by everyday men his age, men not blessed with the charmed life of their Hollywood created counterpart.

Another reason why I like Rob is because he is willing to go on a journey of self discovery to better understand himself. Though he might not admit it, his readiness to examine his past relationships marks the beginning of his growing up process. He then realised that there is a fine line between love and infatuation. What he feels with Charlie is an infatuation because it’s superficial. He based his opinions on people based on their opinion on things and this is why he adores Charlie, she always like the right things. What he feels towards Laura is love because he is able to see both the good and bad sides of their relationship. He confesses to being partly responsible for his failed relationship because of his fear of commitment. His marriage proposal to Laura signifies that he is ready to move on and wants to commit himself to a relationship.

4. Provide an alternative ending to the movie.

A few weeks into their engagements, Laura finds herself pregnant. They were initially happy with the news, but later on Rob’s old insecurities began to resurface. He had just begun to build his record label and he did not feel that it was the right time for him to be saddled with the responsibility of being a father. Laura on the other hand feels that her life is stable enough for her to start a family. They begin to argue again and in the end Rob realised that although he was ready to marry Laura, he was not yet ready to be a father. Laura is hurt because she sees his action as a rejection and because she is tired of his insecurities. Rob continues working at his record store and building his record label. He stays single, has a string of commitment free relationships and realise that this lifestyle is what suits him at the moment.

Problems Faced When Writing

One of the problems I faced in writing is the lack of ideas, or continuity of ideas. Its fancier term is writer’s block. The problem will show itself in two different disguises. I would either have absolutely no idea what to write or I have a great idea but I would be totally clueless when it comes to developing the idea. Some experts (or so they claim), suggest the use of mind mapping to help the flow of ideas during the writing process. It works well enough, but only if you actually now what to write about. But I feel that nothing can help me once I’m afflicted with the headache inducing writer’s block.

Another problem is a lack of interest. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against writing, as long as it is about something I can actually write about. I like reading and writing fictions. Journals are quite allright, I can still manage that. Writing something academic/factual on the other hand is a misery for me because I don’t have the head for figures, statistics and facts. I don’t like academic type of writing because I feel that they are a constraint. Freeform writing or fiction is more flexible because I can let my imagination run wild and come up with a variety of ideas. This doesn’t mean that I am any good at it, far from it. It does however, make things easier when you can write whatever it is that pops up in your mind (a purple scaled, slime oozing, fire breathing dragon) rather than stressing out on the facts and figures (what kind of gas is responsible for the thinning of the ozone layer).

My biggest problem when it comes to writing may seem absurdly ridiculous, but it is what I struggle with. TENSES... I always get confused as to what tense I should use. I’m serious, this is no joke. I know, I know. I’m a TESL student; dealing with tenses should be like a walk in the park. While it may be nonexistent to some people, it is a real problem for me. The final draft of my writing often looks like the end product of a mixing machine, all the tenses jumbled up together. Thank god for the spellcheck. Whoever thought of that, is an absolute genius.

Despite all the problems I’ve listed above, a miracle does occur sometimes. When the alignment of the stars is just right, I would be blessed with an abundance of ideas. Everything falls into place, the plot/ideas actually makes sense and the writing process flows smoothly. It doesn’t happen as often as I would like it too, but when it does, it’s heavenly.

Journal Entry #1 : The New Semester

The new semester...well it's here again. As usual, it brings with it new challenges for me to face. This semester is the first time I'm not staying at the hostel. I am renting a house with 3 other friends. What does this means? FREEDOM! No more curfews, rules and disgruntled security guards to deal with...thank God. I know rules exist for a reason, but in the mind of a self proclaimed rebel such as myself, rules are meant to be broken. So I definitely look forward to experiencing this new life. But, as the saying goes, too much of a good thing can be bad for you. Hopefully I won't go crazy with all this newfound freedom. Fortunately I have friends that will do their best to keep my feet firmly on the ground, so no worries I guess.

Something else that's new for me are my 3 housemates. I've known them for almost 4 years. We've been in the same classes but we generally moved in different circles. I consider it a challenge because knowing someone and actually living with them are two different things. We all have our quirks that the others have to live with so tolerance is of the upmost importance. I know, that actually sounds cheesy..but it's true. We need to learn to get along, or at least pretended to, otherwise we might end up tearing each other to pieces...literally.

I really miss my former housemates. We don't actually go round finishing each others’ sentences or any other stuff that besties (best friends) do, but we get along well. So well in fact that we sometimes have problem working with other people. Those poor souls just can't handle the stress... Although they are staying at the hostel which is just a stone's throw away, we don't get to spend as much time together. Plus, all of us are too lazy to go visiting...(I did say we were very much alike). We make up for it during the weekends though and can spend the whole two days just fooling around. Good times...

Of course, not everything is new this semester. Some things never change. We all go through it every semester that I get a sense of deja vu every now and then. Worrying about grades, assignments, quizzes, projects, meeting new lecturers, learning new subjects, stressing out on the supposedly efficient online registration system...same old, same old. The first week is always fun. You go around trying to figure out where your class is, who your lecturers are, whether you need to change your class to get a new lecturer, meeting new classmates and greeting old ones. The best part is lecturers almost always finish their classes earlier than usual. Nice...

I've always have a problem with balancing between fun and business. Too much fun and my grades suffer. Studying too much...well, that will never happen to me..ever. My new housemates are quite serious when it comes to studying, so maybe some of that will rub off on me...hopefully.

Whatever challenges the new semester brings, I know that my friends and I will go through it together like we always do.